Man locking bathroom to play video games and avoid girlfriend backed online

A man’s decision to take refuge in his bathroom for a short gaming session—armed with his Nintendo Switch, snacks and a candle—has prompted a debate about personal space in relationships.

The 25-year-old Reddit poster, using the handle Senior_Zebra_1313, said he needed a break after a grueling workweek and asked his girlfriend for 30 minutes to unwind.

Pointed Remarks

The 24-year-old woman agreed, he wrote, but returned after just seven minutes to suggest reorganizing the pantry because it was “giving anxiety.”

The original poster (OP) described locking himself in the bathroom mid-Mario Kart race while his girlfriend knocked, asking if she had done something wrong. When he explained he needed alone time, she accused him of being emotionally unavailable and trying to dodge emotional labor.

For days afterward, she continued making pointed remarks like, “Hope the bathroom’s comfy, your real girlfriend.”

‘I gotta disappear’

The OP clarified that he wasn’t trying to avoid his girlfriend, but simply needed time to decompress without being pulled into conversations about topics like oat milk versus almond milk.

He said he had already tried relaxing in the bedroom, but was repeatedly interrupted by suggestions to light candles together, or deep clean the fridge.

“I love her,” he insisted to Redditors, “but sometimes I gotta disappear like a raccoon in the night.”

While some responses criticized the man’s use of a locked door to avoid discussion with his partner, the vast majority supported his need for solitude, especially in a shared space.

Reddit contributors felt that short breaks from constant interaction are a normal and necessary part of cohabiting, amid around 200 comments in a day online.

An individual remarked that they “couldn’t handle” the OP’s situation.

“I would break up with this person so fast,” the individual continued.

“You have every right to need to decompress. A few hours even is not too much to ask for. Me and my husband do that often. It’s called mutual respect and love. Also a bit o’ empathy.”

‘For the rest of your life?’

A supporter of the OP still urged him to have a “grown up conversation” with his partner.

“No one should have to hide in the bathroom to get peace and quiet—unless it is from your children, [laugh out loud].

“That she is offended says she is insecure and way too needy to be amazing. Can you imagine this for the rest of your life?”

Conflict can arise in relationships when partners have different expectations about how much time they should spend together versus alone, according to psychologist Melanie McCabe.

“To help prevent these misunderstandings, couples can benefit from open conversations about each person’s needs—including the need for solitude,” the North Carolina-based specialist said, in reply to an invitation to comment from Newsweek.

McCabe said spending time alone can serve many purposes: “It allows for decompressing, processing thoughts and emotions, and creating space for stillness after overstimulation. It also helps some people recharge before re-engaging socially.

“Importantly, time apart can actually strengthen the relationship. When a partner is able to care for their individual needs, they’re often more present, patient and engaged.

“Honoring requests for alone time, then, can benefit not just the individual, but the relationship as a whole.”

Our Sense of Self

According to a Williamsburg Therapy Group article, personal space enables individuality and emotional balance.

“Personal growth requires a person to have a sense of their own identity,” the clinic noted. Without alone time to pursue interests or simply rest, individuals may begin to feel emotionally overwhelmed, or even lose their sense of self.

The clinic added that lack of space can lead to communication breakdowns and even emotional dependency.

“It’s better to know this early on,” the article states, “so you can communicate what you need. If your partner doesn’t respect that, it may indicate where your relationship stands.”

Newsweek has contacted Senior_Zebra_1313 for comment via Reddit.

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