Study Shows Kids Are Struggling and It’s Parents That Need to Change

When your kid seems unhappy does it instantly put you into a panic mode? As parents, we want to help our kids, we want them to be happy all the time, and we want to fix whatever it is that needs fixing. But that’s not healthy either.

It’s key to know that it’s okay for our kids to be unhappy sometimes. However, research is showing that our kids are really struggling with emotional and mental health, and parents might be contributing to it. We, as parents, need to take a hard look at ourselves.

Related: 5 Powerful Ways to Support Your Teen’s Mental Health

A study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Data Summary & Trends Report, showed that feelings of sadness and hopelessness rose 40 percent since 2009.

HuffPost spoke to therapists to delve into why kids are struggling today and they shared the one thing that harms kids’ happiness the most.

It’s believed that social media has something to do with it, but it’s not the most pressing issue. We can look to the pandemic and the social isolation experienced, but it’s more than that. It’s parental pressure that can do the most damage to our kids’ happiness. Yes, it’s us.

Related: Why Your Teen With Anxiety Is Having a Completely Different Social Media Experience

Parents put pressure on kids to be happy and put too much focus on achievements. In short, we need to relax.

The child psychologists HuffPost interviewed shared that if we love and value our kids for who they are first (with a full range of emotions), and not put so much focus on their successes and achievements, it then put our kids’ in a better headspace.

Our kids need the space to feel all their feelings — even sadness. This doesn’t have to sound alarms. This is showing our kids that we love and value them for who they are, with every emotion they have.

Child psychologist Jennifer Cruz shared that even what we consider negative emotions have good value. “Fear can help protect us, anger helps us know we are being hurt, sadness can connect us to what is important,” she said.

Experts agree that talking with your kid daily builds a healthy connection. You can think of it like a check-in on how they are feeling and how you are feeling, along with events of the day.

Psychologist Tina Payne Brison has four specific points for parents to look at:

1. How do you spend money when it pertains to your kids?

2. What is your kid’s schedule like?

3. What do you ask your children about?

4. What do you argue with your children about?

We love our kids, but the concern is that they are not seeing or feeling that love because of where we sometimes put our energy. Parents can look at these four things and identify how our behavior is informing our kids.

If our actions are based on their achievements alone, packing their schedule with many things to achieve, then we are sending the wrong message. This is the source of stress for our kids, and one that decreases their overall happiness.

When we really think about it, it decreases our happiness as well. It’s well worth delving into and making changes.

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Study Shows Kids Are Struggling and It’s Parents That Need to Change first appeared on WeHaveKids on May 29, 2025