Why it takes parents year to understand how kids feel about starting school

It takes most parents a full year to truly understand how their child feels about school, according to a new study led by psychologists at the University of Cambridge.

The “Ready or Not” study, which tracked over 200 UK children through reception (pre-kindergarten) and year 1 (first grade), found that parents’ perceptions of their child’s school experience often lag reality—mirroring how the child actually felt a year earlier.

“We found a clear and wide gap between how parents think their children feel about the first year of school, and how children actually feel about school,” Professor Claire Hughes, who led the research, said in a statement.

“Our research shows that it typically takes parents a year to tune into their child’s experiences of school,” Hughes continued. “By year 1, parents are often only just catching up to where their children were a year earlier.”

To help close this gap sooner, Hughes and her team partnered with writer Anita Lehmann and illustrator Karin Eklund to create “How I Feel About My School”, a new picture book published on April 29 by Routledge.

The book uses relatable stories and built-in prompts to encourage meaningful conversations between children and their caregivers about the ups and downs of school life.

The research found that children’s wellbeing at school tends to dip between reception and year 1, likely due to the transition from play-based learning to more structured academic demands.

Yet, those who reported feeling good about school early on developed stronger confidence in their reading, writing and math abilities by the next year.

“A closer understanding of how a child feels about starting school will allow parents to gauge wellbeing and help their child adapt as key stages kick in,” Hughes said. “Happy children are better learners, and the first years of school can set the tone.”

The findings suggest that children don’t always talk about school unless something’s gone wrong, which can leave parents with a skewed view.

The new book aims to normalize everyday emotional fluctuations and help parents tune in before a full year passes.

“Kids have ups and downs in a day for lots of reasons,” said Hughes. “There can be a tendency to over-medicalize sadness, but getting through a school day is a big deal for children, and problems are a natural part of that.”

With tools like “How I Feel About My School”, parents may no longer have to wait until year 1 to finally see school through their child’s eyes.