Dad slammed for what kids hear him say about ex-wife’s new boyfriend

A father of two is facing backlash online after admitting he’s been caught calling his ex-wife’s new boyfriend “obscene” names within earshot of their young children.

In a post shared to Reddit’s ‘Am I the a******’ (AITA) channel, u/Throwaway-81749 wrote that two years after his divorce, he’s still struggling with the fallout—especially now that his ex-wife is with their former next-door neighbor, a man she allegedly had an affair with during their marriage.

Newsweek reached out to u/Throwaway-81749 for comment via Reddit.

The divorced couple have two children together—a 5-year-old girl and 8-year-old boy—and both have split custody.

“If I had my way, she and her new boyfriend would never come near my kids again after what they did,” he wrote. “I wish they didn’t have to grow up thinking this kind of behavior is acceptable.”

While claiming he tries to be the “mature adult,” the original poster (OP) admitted to sometimes slipping up and calling the new partner “obscene names” in front of the children. One such moment seemingly backfired when his ex left a long voicemail chastising him—likely triggered after one of the kids repeated an insult.

Adding fuel to the fire, a mutual friend backed the ex-wife, calling the dad out for being “unfair” to his kids. The father turned to the internet for support, asking: “how the hell am I the one being immature and unfair? AITA?”

At the time of writing, the post has received over 5,700 upvotes and over 3,400 comments. Many users accused the dad of putting his children in a difficult and confusing position.

“Don’t put the kids in the middle of adult stuff. Never bad mouth your ex or their new partner around or to the kids. You are only hurting the kids that way by making them feel they have to pick a side,” one user wrote.

“Be the safe place that your kids can come home too and talk about anything without judgment. It is literally your job as their parent to do this. YTA—and in a huge way,” another declared.

Newsweek spoke to Bob Grant, a licensed therapist and relationship coach for 20 years, who said the damage isn’t just about the name-calling, it’s about what that language does to children.

“When this father insults the boyfriend—even if it’s unintentional or said in passing—he’s unintentionally placing his pain on his children’s shoulders,” Grant said.

The result, he warned, can be emotional confusion and guilt. “That’s exactly the kind of emotional tug-of-war kids describe to me in divorce situations,” he said.

While he does sympathize with the father and watching his family is far from easy, his reactions are bound to affect the children.

“He needs space to process his anger, and he deserves support. But that support should come from a trusted adult—never his kids,” Grant said.

Reddit users officially voted the OP the a******.