Dad takes kids out without mom, shock at what he hears

A dad from New Hampshire thought nothing of a weekday errand run with his two young children until comments from others caught him off guard.

Jeff Dalzell (@jeffdalzellfitness) said in a reel on Instagram that a number of people had commented, “Oh, look who’s babysitting today,” and “So nice of you to give mom a break.” The 33-year-old clapped back, saying that he is their dad and it’s part of his job.

“I get these comments almost every time I go out with more than one of my kids,” Dalzell told Newsweek. “Sometimes, I’ll get them if I’m just with one, but when I have all three, I get people telling me I’m a superhero.”

He said he believes that, while most people mean well, the praise feels backhanded.

“[It’s] like they expect me to fail or not bother trying,” Dalzell said. “Those low-level expectations can make it feel like even my effort to be present will always appear to be trying too hard.”

The dad-of-three also shared how his wife hears comments like, “You’ve got your hands full,” while he often hears, “Your wife is so lucky.” Dalzell is not looking for applause, but wants the societal bar raised for all dads—not just the ones showing up.

“While I think that there are roles within the family dynamic, and moms often take on the primary caregiver and household logistics coordinator roles, that doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve recognition and credit for doing an invaluable, difficult, and often-isolating job well and constantly,” he said.

Dalzell, who is also a fitness and nutrition coach, also said that not every dad has the flexibility to take their kids out midweek, but he added that it is not about the schedule; it is about the mindset.

“Providing and being present aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s less a measure of time—though time is certainly a factor—and more a measure of posture, of intention,” Dalzell said.

Dalzell’s reel went viral on Instagram, amassing more than 2.7 million views and resonating with many users in the comments section.

“You should have seen peoples faces when I was little. My dad was a single dad of 3 with full custody everyone’s minds exploded anytime they saw all of us toddling along after him,” one user wrote.

“I’m a stay-at-home dad, and I get these comments constantly. It’s mainly from women over 50 but not exclusively by any means,” another posted.

Many others questioned whether the comments were coming from boomers and believed that millennial dads were in fact very involved.

Newsweek spoke to emotional intelligence researcher Alyssa Blask Campbell (seedandsew.org), who said the role of dads has changed a lot over time.

Historically, dads were primarily seen as providers, but today, more fathers are actively participating in hands-on parenting.

“Still, gaps remain: paternal leave is limited, and many workplaces don’t support dads being active caregivers,” Campbell said. “Plus, outdated stereotypes make involved dads seem like an exception.”

To truly support families, Campbell said that better policies and a cultural shift are needed to recognize fathers as equal partners in parenting, rather than just “helping out,” implying that caregiving is a mom’s job.

“It undermines dads’ roles and reinforces unequal expectations in parenting,” she added.

While Dalzell doesn’t claim to be a perfect father himself, he is trying to be the kind of dad that his kids deserve.

Dalzell said: “[The reel] has given me the opportunity to connect with thousands more parents who, like me, are just trying to show up as the best versions of themselves every day because being a parent is freaking hard.

2It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and second place isn’t even close. But it’s also the best thing I’ve ever done, and second place isn’t even close.”