Revenge against mother-in-law refusing to eat their food raises questions

A woman’s “petty revenge” against her mother-in-law (MIL) for refusing to eat her cooking has sparked debate online about cultural food clashes.

In a Reddit post, the original poster (OP), who is Chinese, shared that her Indian MIL frequently guilt-tripped her for not eating the dishes she prepared. In return, she decided to turn the tables and cook for her instead. Since the post was published, it has gone viral with 48,000 upvotes. Newsweek spoke to Dr. Dina Chavira, a licensed clinical psychologist, about cultural family clashes and how the OP and her MIL can foster a better relationship.

In the post, the OP wrote that her MIL doesn’t respond well when she tells her she can’t eat her home-cooked Indian food, because of the spices.

“She’ll start guilt-tripping me with, ‘So you don’t like my cooking?’ Or ‘Everyone loves my food, why don’t you?’” the OP wrote. “My significant other usually will jump in to stop her, but it always puts me in a weird spot since on day one of meeting me, she told me point blank that she doesn’t like Chinese food. I’m Chinese.”

Frustrated by the pressure to eat and enjoy her MIL’s food, the OP decided to exact a small act of revenge.

“I recently started bringing food I made whenever visiting her and telling her how excited I am to cook for her and that I hope she likes my cooking,” she wrote. But just as she often declined her MIL’s dishes, her MIL suddenly lost her appetite too.

“She usually brushes it off saying she’s not hungry or that she’ll eat it later. I turned the tables on her, looking sad and asking her why she doesn’t like my cooking. It’s very entertaining … She hasn’t asked me to eat her stuff since, so I guess this petty revenge is working.”

The post drew a mix of support and criticism from commenters. One user said: “You say that you can’t understand why she hates the entire category of Chinese food when it sounds like you’ve basically said that you don’t like most Indian food. That sounds a little hypocritical to me. If you both opened up a bit, you’d be happier and would get to enjoy new things.”

Another commenter acknowledged urged the OP to take a more constructive approach.

“OP has already established that revenge is a dish best served homemade…but now that the lesson has been taught for the first time…it may be time to be an adult and have a legitimate, friendly, warm, open conversation,” they wrote.

‘Food Is Symbolic’

Chavira, founder of VastMind Wellness, PLLC, weighed in on why food can be such an emotional battleground in families, especially among in-laws.

“Food is symbolic of many things,” she told Newsweek. “A culture’s values and traditions can often be reflected in its cuisine. The act of preparing food can be an expression of love.”

Because food is so emotionally laden, it can feel like an “enormous rejection” when loved ones refuse or are critical of food that is important to you or your culture, she added.

For families navigating cultural food differences, Chavira suggested fostering mutual respect by communicating specific preferences rather than dismissing an entire cuisine.

“For example, saying ‘No thank you—the curry spices give me indigestion,’ versus ‘I hate Indian food,’” she advised. Chavira also encouraged making an effort to try new foods with an open mind and “respecting personal preferences and trying not to take it personally.”

Newsweek reached out to u/coffeebeans2836 for comment via Reddit.