Summer anxiety in kids: Strategies for parents

With summer often comes a surprising surge in children’s anxiety. One of the primary reasons for that is the disruption in routine. Routine provides a sense of safety, and when summer breaks that structure, anxiety often increases.

Children do best when they know what to expect, and summertime is often filled with new experiences — summer camps, trips to new places, family and friends visiting, noisy parades, fireworks and storms that move in fast and loud.

Summer is also when children try lots of new activities, like sports, riding bikes/scooters/skateboards, making new friends, swimming in the lake and the diving board at the pool. For older children, they may be staying home alone for the first time, going to sleep-away camp or working their first job (babysitting or mowing lawns). It’s no wonder parents report lots of new worries from June to August.

The good news? Caregivers are often the best support system for managing those anxious feelings. While some children may need professional support (especially those who have experienced trauma or are neurodivergent), many can navigate their way through summer anxieties with thoughtful guidance from caregivers. Here are a few tips to keep in mind when taking on the summer with your kids.

1. Acknowledge and normalize their feelings. New experiences, by nature, tell our brains to slow down and be careful. It makes sense to be a little cautious before diving headfirst off a 10-meter diving board or walking into a group of 50 people we’ve never met before. All our feelings are telling us something. You might say, “It’s okay to feel nervous — this is different, and your brain is trying to keep you safe.” When we normalize anxiety as part of learning and growth, children feel seen rather than judged.

2. Help them reflect on past successes. What other activities were they fearful of when they tried them? Most children had some trepidation about the first day of daycare/school/extracurricular activities/sleepovers. And they have survived 100% of those experiences. Guide your child to recall moments when they overcame their fears. You might ask, “Do you remember your first day of school? You were nervous then too, and you made it through.” For younger children, keep a small photo album of “brave moments” to look back on together. This fosters a sense of competence and continuity.

3. Break down big challenges into small steps. If children are scared to put their face in the pool to blow bubbles, start by having them blow bubbles with bubble soap on dry land. Then put some dish soap and water in a large bowl and give them a straw to put in the bowl to blow bubbles (remind them not to suck it up). Then, see if they can put their face in the bath water while you count. Each step gets them closer to going underwater at the pool. If a child is scared of fireworks, let them try simple party poppers where they can control when they pop. You could then move to lighting a cake sparkler and letting the child hold it until it extinguishes. String up some blinking outdoor lights and then sit outside in the dark to get used to bright flashes of light. If your child has a fear of bees, start with a cute animated story that has a bee character.  Buy them a cute mini stuffed bee or watch a cartoon with bees. For older children, reading about the importance of bees in our ecosystem might help. Lastly, make sure that your reaction to bees (or other insects) isn’t one of fear, as children model what they see.

4. Encourage problem solving, not perfection. Struggling through new skills builds resilience and an overall sense of confidence. Hold back when you feel like stepping in to open that tricky Playdough canister or “help” put the “correct” brick in a Lego model. The more children work through a challenge, the better they feel about themselves and their ability. Competency and resilience grow when children learn, “I can struggle and still succeed.”

5. Share stories about your own childhood fears. Normalizing fears and strategies for overcoming them helps children see big feelings as a normal part of development, not a character flaw. Children (especially young children) see parents as perfect and may be worried that they don’t measure up. This worry can lead to children avoiding things they feel they might not be immediately good at.

6. Adapt situations to fit their comfort level. If a child is afraid of the dark, give everyone individual flashlights or glow necklaces and bracelets before you head into the dark. If a child is fearful of a sleepover, try a sleep under. This could involve every part of a sleepover, including packing an overnight bag, getting dropped off at a friend’s, playing, getting into pajamas, brushing teeth and then getting picked up. These modifications are not about avoiding fear — they are about honoring a child’s need to feel safe while slowly building tolerance.

7. Offer choices to restore a sense of control. If you have a child who is fearful of fireworks, give them some choice about how or if they experience them. Can they watch from inside the car rather than sitting outside? Can they watch with earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones? Is staying home with a sitter this year the best option, and waiting to see if this is an activity they just need more time to develop an interest in attending? When a child feels some power, anxiety often decreases.

Your calm presence and compassionate support are powerful tools for your child’s emotional growth. Build in time to quietly enjoy things that naturally relax the body. Swing in a hammock or on a tire swing, float in a pool, listen to the waves at the beach, take a nature walk, listen to birdcalls or just dig in the sand. Activities that engage our senses and have rhythm are very effective in calming our central nervous system. And the best part — most of those ideas are free.

Andrea Bushala is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in children ages 1 to 10 and their families. You can learn more about her work here.