Trying to eliminate money stress ‘isn’t realistic,’ financial therapist says—do this instead

This summer, young Americans are gearing up to socialize more. But those outings and trips will come at a cost, and many Gen Zers aren’t feeling so hot about their finances.

A recent Cash App survey found 65% of Gen Zers are ready to increase their spending for experiences this summer, but an equal-sized share say that planning those costly activities makes them anxious.

It may be nice to get rid of that anxiety altogether, but “trying to eliminate all financial stress or anxiety isn’t realistic,” says Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, a financial therapist and founder of Mind Money Balance. 

For starters, some financial stress can be healthy. In the short-term, it can help you realize what’s most important to you and help you develop a broader financial plan that reflects your values, Bryan-Podvin says. Stress can also be motivating and help encourage you to stay on track. 

But if you’re trying to make a big financial decision like whether to take a trip with your friends or buy a new car, it’s wise to make sure you’re in the right headspace to do so. And that doesn’t mean trying to eliminate the stress.

“A healthier and more doable approach is to dial down the intensity of stress to a level where you still feel capable of making wise financial choices,” Bryan-Podvin says.

When you have to make a big financial decision, take the time to think through it and get your emotions in check. When you do that, Bryan-Podvin says it’s a good idea to think about your money stress on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the highest.

“If you’re about to make a large unplanned purchase, like saying yes to a spontaneous weekend trip with friends, and your stress level is at an eight, pause before you reply,” she says. 

From there, go for a walk, journal or whatever else helps you calm down. When your stress level is closer to a four or five, you can make a better decision, Bryan-Podvin says.

“It’s not about waiting until your stress is at zero or avoiding extra spending altogether,” she says. “It’s about feeling emotionally good enough to make a wise financial decision.” 

Financial stress can help you figure out what your priorities are. If you’re worried about not having enough saved for emergencies, for example, “that can clue us in that we value the peace of mind an emergency fund could provide,” Bryan-Podvin says.

But it’s also possible you’re stressing for the wrong reasons, especially if you’re doing well financially. If you’re aiming for perfection or trying to meet an arbitrary standard of someone who’s “made it,” it’s a good time to check in with yourself.

“If your stress is at an eight because you feel like you need to invest more, ask yourself, ‘According to who?’” Bryan-Podvin says. “That extra check-in can help you get back in touch with yourself instead of trying to keep up with someone else’s financial rules.”

Everyone may need something different to ease their financial stress. To start, try these four strategies from Bryan-Podvin.

1. Keep your priorities top of mind

If you’re not sure what your financial priorities are, you could wind up getting even more stressed with decision fatigue every time a spending opportunity arises. Knowing what you value can take some of the anxiety out of making financial decisions.

If boosting your emergency fund is a priority, for example, you may have to skip a concert or a few dinners out this summer, Bryan-Podvin suggests.

The decision may require saying “no” to your friends who want you to join, “but it can save you the discomfort of not meeting your financial goals in the long run,” she says.

2. Use money tools to make your life easier

Using money tools like automatic contributions to your savings or investment accounts can make it easier for you to hit your financial goals, Bryan-Podvin says.

If you don’t have to think about moving money manually, you won’t give yourself the opportunity to spend it on something else. She also recommends using a high-yield savings account to help your money grow faster.

3. Don’t go it alone

Younger generations are getting better at talking openly about money, and that’s a good thing: It can help you actually stick to your financial goals, Bryan-Podvin says. She encourages you to try “cash yapping,” a term coined by Cash App to describe talking about money without stigma.

“Telling your people what you’re focusing on financially can provide accountability, decrease awkward moments and reduce social stress,” Bryan-Podvin says.

4. Set boundaries

It’s good to have a pulse on the actual numbers in your savings account. But if you’re checking it constantly and having an emotional reaction, Bryan-Podvin suggests setting some boundaries.

“Strike a balance between avoidance and obsession by setting light boundaries, like checking your savings goals weekly instead of daily,” she says. “That helps you stay informed without constantly feeding the stress loop.”

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