Two Brutally Honest Kids’ Review of ‘Elio’

I like being alone at the movies.

And not because I don’t have people to go to the movies with. I totally do, I swear. (They’re standing right over there behind you. No, don’t turn around. Just trust me, they’re there.) I understand that most people look at moviegoing as a group activity; something to do with a date or a bunch of friends. But a solitary trip to the movies is one of life’s little pleasures. No endless text threads about when and where to meet, no debating which row to sit in, no negotiating about what snacks to get or how to share them. Just you and the film. It’s lovely. It’s peaceful. Give it a try some time.

The one exception: Kids movies. In the last few years, I have come to relish my time at the theater with my nine- and seven-year-old daughters. The films themselves can be hit or miss, but the conversations after the movies, where we talk about what we saw and how it made us feel, never disappoint.

There haven’t always been good kids movies to take them to in recent years, so I try to take advantage of every opportunity to bring them to the multiplex. This week, I was invited to Pixar’s Elio, the story of a lonely boy obsessed with outer space whose dream of getting abducted by aliens finally comes true. Over a post-screening meal of some smoothie bowls, my kids and I discussed our individual reactions to the film, our favorite characters and moments, whether we prefer 3D movies to 2D, and how to deal with our own feelings of loneliness.

Dad: So did you like the movie?

Seven Year Old: Yeah.

Nine Year Old: I liked it.

Dad: What did you like about it?

Seven Year Old: It was funny and the characters’ voices were weird.

Dad: Who had a weird voice? Grigon? The dad?

Seven Year Old: No. Well, I kind of liked Grigon. He talked like “Rawr grahhh!”

Dad: Okay, so who was your favorite character?

Seven Year Old: I had a couple. Do you remember the guy who kept drinking the stuff?

Dad: [no idea who she’s talking about] Uhhh, maybe?

Seven Year Old: I liked him. I also liked the guy Elio first met on the alien planet.

Dad: The little computer?

Seven Year Old: Yeah, he was so cute.

Dad: [to Nine Year Old] What did you think?

Nine Year Old:  Ehhhh, I didn’t really like it.

Dad: You didn’t?

Nine Year Old: I LOVED it! Ha ha, I got you!

Dad: [weary sigh]

READ MORE: A Brutally Honest Kid’s Review of Hot to Train Your Dragon

Nine Year Old: The only thing I kind of didn’t love is [Elio] only really made friends with one alien. I wish he made a few more friends.

Dad: What did you think of Glordon? The friendly alien who looked like an alien slug. I thought he was pretty charming.

Nine Year Old: So cool.

Dad: He cracked me up.

Seven Year Old: Do you know who else was really funny?

Dad: Who?

Seven Year Old: Um… um… [stares off into space for three seconds] You guess.

Dad: I don’t know. I thought Glordon was the funniest character.

Seven Year Old: Yeah, I liked how he was, like, a prisoner, and I liked a couple of his lines like when Glordon says “I’ve never been a bargaining chip before!” I also liked when he rolled Elio up in that web.

Dad: Mmmhmm.

Seven Year Old: Oh! Remember when he said “My mom is out a lot of the time. She’s fighting the Blood Wars!” I laughed at that.

Nine Year Old: I don’t get the “Blood Wars” thing.

Dad: I think it’s just a silly thing to say, because on the one hand these aliens are so mean and cruel and scary and on the other hand Glordon is so friendly and nice. So when he talks about the Blood Wars it seems especially out of place and funny.

Nine Year Old: Ohhhh…

Dad: Was there a message in the movie? What do you think it was about?

Seven Year Old: I think the lesson is —

Nine Year Old: — you can always find friends, even when you feel alone.

Dad: Nice.

Seven Year Old: And you’re not alone, even if you think you are.

Dad: Yeah. I like that a lot.

Nine Year Old: Also, giving new things a try works out. Uhhh … Dad? My hands might be covered in chocolate.

Dad: Oh boy.

Nine Year Old: It’s not my fault! The bananas fell! I had to pick them up.

Dad: Dude. You have chocolate on your nose. No, my mistake: You have chocolate in your nose! I don’t even want to know how you did that. Here [handing her a napkin] wipe that up. For future reference: Giving new things a try works out sometimes, but not when the new thing is “Sticking Chocolate Inside Your Nose.”

Nine Year Old: [showing hands, which are somehow already filthy again] I might need some more napkins.

Dad: What are you doing??? Stop eating with your hands! You have a spoon! We can’t come back here if you keep doing that. [The most tired sigh ever uttered] So uhhhhhhh Elio.

Seven Year Old: I felt bad for Elio.

Dad: He’s kind of a sad character in the beginning. He’s very lonely.

Seven Year Old: Yeah.

Dad: Do you ever feel the way he does?

Seven Year Old: Yeah, sometimes.

Dad: Sometimes? I’m sorry to hear that. What makes you feel better when you feel that way?

Seven Year Old: My family helps me, and sometimes my friends. They help me remember that I’m not alone.

Nine Year Old: When I feel alone, I remind myself I am strong, and I am brave, and I am amazing, and I can make friends.

Dad: Wow, I love that confidence. That’s a great way to think.

Nine Year Old: Like when I started my class this year. I didn’t know anyone. I knew some kids, but we weren’t really friends at first.

Dad: That’s kind of like going to an alien spaceship to try to make friends.

Nine Year Old: Not really, Dad.

Dad: Oh, sorry.

Dad: The movie was also in 3D. Have you ever seen a 3D movie before?

Seven Year Old: Yeah.

Dad: You did? What was it?

Seven Year Old: The ice thing.

Dad: The ice thing…?

Nine Year Old: With the shaking stuff.

Dad: Ohhhhhh. Yes, you did see that. That was called Ice Age. [No Time for Nuts 4D; a 4D movie we saw at an aquarium] 

Nine Year Old: We also saw The Polar Express in 3D.

Dad: You’re right. That might have been at the same aquarium.

Seven Year Old: I liked The Polar Express more because it felt real.

Nine Year Old: Yeah, you felt the cold and it snowed in the theater.

Dad: Well, that was a special, like, “4D” movie where it’s in 3D but also they do extra effects in the theater. Elio was just 3D. Plus it was a full 100-minute movie What did you think of that?

Seven Year Old: Really good.

Nine Year Old: The only problem was if you had a popcorn, there was a pretty good chance you were going to get your 3D glasses smeared with butter.

Dad: Are you telling me you got butter on your glasses?

Nine Year Old: Possibly.

Dad: So it’s hard to eat popcorn during a 3D movie?

Nine Year Old: Possibly.

Dad: You don’t want to admit that’s what happened to you?

Nine Year Old: Possibly.

Dad: Other than that, did the 3D improve the experience? Did it make it better than it would have been in 2D?

Nine Year Old: It made it better. It looked more real.

Seven Year Old: I liked how the trailer didn’t spoil that much. Only that a boy meets an alien. It didn’t talk about the world at all. It didn’t mention [various spoilers redacted by editor/father].

Dad: So you appreciated that the trailer didn‘t spoil the movie. Wait, how do you know what spoilers are? Your sister also talked to me about spoilers recently.

Seven Year Old: Um, I think we went to the Alamo Drafthouse and … I don’t know.

Nine Year Old: It’s a common word, Dad. You probably say it. Or, like, when we’re in school sometimes if we’re reading a book and some people have already read it, my teacher will say “Don’t spoil it for the class.”

Dad: Ah hah.

Seven Year Old: Same with my class. That happened with Matilda. We’re watching the movie in class right now. Not the musical version.

Dad: I see. Were there any parts of Elio you didn’t like?

Nine Year Old: I liked a lot of it, actually. [thinks] There weren’t enough jump scares.

Dad: In Elio?

Nine Year Old: There was that one part where there was a little jump scare. But only that one and maybe one more.

Dad: So you like when a movie gets scary? I’m a little surprised to hear that.

Nine Year Old: I don’t love scary scary movies. But this one wasn’t scary enough. The bad guy didn’t seem so so scary. He was mean but …

Seven Year Old: I have a favorite part.

Dad: Go ahead.

Seven Year Old: I really loved when Elio tickled Glordon and the dad thought that was a horrible noise.

Dad: Oh yeah, solid joke. What did you think of the dad character?

Seven Year Old: The bad guy?

Dad: Was he so bad? Maybe the dad was misunderstood. Did you ever think about that?

Nine Year Old: Oh yeah.

Dad: Maybe dads love their kids so much it makes them do crazy things some times.

Nine Year Old: I’m sure when I’m a teenager I’ll think my parents are crazy.

Dad: Maybe dads area really the heroes. In every story.

Nine Year Old: The moms are out there fighting the Blood Wars!

Dad: Okay, good point. Moms are heroes too.

Nine Year Old: While the Mom’s fighting the Blood Wars, the dad’s just sitting around taking care of the kid!

Dad: Taking care of a kid is hard too. Glordon was afraid of his dad and didn’t want to tell him things about himself and how he felt. Are you afraid to tell me things like that?

Seven Year Old: No.

Dad: That’s good.

Nine Year Old: If you were wearing giant armor and had a laser on your arm and yelled at us constantly I’d be scared.

Dad: That’s fair.

Dad: Was this better than How to Train Your Dragon?

Nine Year Old: How to Train Your Dragon was better.

Dad: Really! Why?

Nine Year Old: There were more girl characters. How to Train Your Dragon didn’t have a ton of girl characters, but it did have one really strong girl character.

Dad: Elio had Elio’s aunt. She was good.

Nine Year Old: Eh. I guess she did help out a little.

Dad: [to Seven Year Old] I noticed at one point you were getting a little teary-eyed. Was this movie sad?

Nine Year Old: [nods]

Dad: It’s okay to feel sad. I was getting teary-eyed too.

Nine Year Old: I got teary-eyed because the room was so dark and the screen was so bright and my glasses were kind of smudgy.

Dad: Not helping, dude. Nobody wants to be sad, but I sometimes think it feels good to cry at a movie. It’s good to let stuff out sometimes. There’s a word for that: “Cathartic.”

Seven Year Old: I was thinking about how if my friend got stuck on another world how I would feel…

Dad: You imagined what that would feel like? That would be sad. I think it’s really cool to be able to look at a character in a movie and to empathize with that person, and compare them to your own life and how you would feel. That’s a special skill.

Dad: If they made an Elio ride at Disneyland, what should it be?

Nine Year Old: Oh my gosh, I would ride it.

Dad: What would it be?

Nine Year Old: Maybe a roller coaster that’s like flying in a spaceship?

Seven Year Old: [getting extremely animated] Like Space Mountain, but it stops sometimes, and you also see aliens at different points, and you go “Whoa!” and then you hit parts where the rockets turn on, and then the ride goes “BOOSTERS!” and then you blast ahead really fast.

Dad: Elio was made by a company named Pixar. They have made a lot of movies you like. They made Toy Story, they made A Bug’s Life, they made Turning Red…

Nine Year Old: Did they make How to Train Your Dragon?

Dad: No.

Seven Year Old: Did they make Elio?

Dad: Yes, that’s why I’m mentioning them. Cars, they also made the Cars movies.

Nine Year Old: Whoever there makes these movies has a talent.

Dad: Finding Nemo, they made that one.

Nine Year Old: That one is so good.

Dad: The Incredibles, Ratatouille.

Seven Year Old: Ratatouille! [tugs on her hair]

Dad: I think the one we’ve watched the most at home is Turning Red.

Nine Year Old: Turning Red’s a really good movie.

Seven Year Old: It scares me.

Dad: It does? Why?

Seven Year Old: The mom yells! She turns into a big red panda!

Dad: Is Turning Red scarier than Elio?

Seven Year Old: Yes.

Nine Year Old: Imagine if your mom turned into a giant monster and destroyed a concert.

Dad: I guess that would be kind of scary.

Dad: What would you do if I did what Elio did, and I told you one day that I wanted to leave Earth and live with aliens?

Nine Year Old: I’d be like “Dad, just cut it out.”

Seven Year Old: [jaw drops on the floor]

Dad: You’d just make that face?

Seven Year Old: Then I would pull you back down to Earth.

Dad: And if at some point I got to pilot a spaceship, how do you think that would go?

Nine Year Old: You would crash us into nothingness.

Dad: What if I was chosen to be the one person on Earth to negotiate with Grigon?

Nine Year Old: That you could do.

Seven Year Old: You could ask him if he was a father too, and he’d be like “Yes!”

Dad: That’s true. We could relate to each other. Maybe we would get along. Maybe me and Grigon would be buds. We could go play pickleball together.

Seven Year Old: That would be funny.

Dad: I want to see an Elio sequel about Grigon and other space dads complaining about their kids who don’t listen and sometimes shove chocolate up their noses.

Nine Year Old: [shoots Dad a withering look]

Dad: What? All I’m saying is Grigon is a great man. If they made an Elio sequel would you want to go see it?

Nine Year Old: Of course I would.