Here’s How I Ended up Injured at a Kids vs Parents Maine Wiffle Ball Game

Leave it to me to get physically injured at a friggin’ Wiffle ball game, eh? If you know me, or have even seen my body, you realize that I’m not what most people would describe as ‘overly athletic’. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love sports, I’m just not very good at playing them.

The closest I ever came to being a sports star was playing first base for our town’s co-ed adult softball team. We went 0-11 through the season and basically had to forfeit the playoffs because we had no good reason to be there.

With all of that said, I still love to play. And last night in our little town of Windsor, Maine, I got the chance again. My 7-year-old son Gavin had his end of the year celebration with his coach-pitch baseball team. The celebration? A fun parents vs kids Wiffle ball game.

The kids came up to bat first and each parent got to pitch to their own kid. It was wicked windy out which made pitching a Wiffle ball even more difficult than usual, but we made it work. After the kids had their at-bats, it was time for the parents to step up to the plate.

My wife, who is much more athletic and sexy than I am, went first. She singled to first and rolled her ankle in the process. Next, was me. My son Gavin gave me a couple fast balls right down the middle that I managed to completely miss. As you might imagine, this filled me with rage.

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On the next pitch, I swung that tiny little kids bat for all it was worth and popped the ball up about 12 feet- very anti climactic. However, in doing so, when my arms went around on the back swing, I immediately felt the pain.

Yup. Somehow I managed to pull at least one muscle in my right wrist. I’m not ever right-handed! I told the coach that I might need to be put on the IL for the rest of the game, though he wouldn’t allow it because I, after all, am clutch.

So now I sit here at work painfully typing away all to tell you that the whole ‘you’re only as old as you feel’ crap is, in fact, crap. You’re as old as your birth certificate says and don’t try to prove otherwise. You only get one set of knees in this lifetime (unless you buy new ones) so don’t abuse them.

The end.