We’ve addressed online safety in previous columns, but the danger doesn’t diminish. And, with our reliance and familiarity with devices, we sometimes forget that this convenience comes with built-in dangers.
The effects of social media on teens have been well-documented. The quest for “likes” is addictive, sometimes creating mental health issues, and is built into social media platforms (for its income potential). If a post doesn’t receive sufficient positive responses, a child may push things to the extreme to get the desired outcome. Those extreme measures may result in physical or emotional danger to the child. Add the phenomenon of TikTok challenges, and we have a scenario for total disaster.
Facebook was one of the first social media sites, and it changed the way we communicate with friends. We never knew we had so many friends until we began posting on this platform. The ability to chat and share photos and events with people that we know, and those we simply shared common interests with, opened up a whole new world. It was global and in real-time.
Its 24/7 access made connections easy. It also made communication relentless, as we found ourselves taking the phone everywhere we went, even to bed. Thus, if we received a negative response to a post, there was no escape. Simply shutting it off became a futile exercise in bad judgment. For children, it’s devastating.
It has become commonplace for teens to meet online, given their huge amount of screentime, a vestige of COVID-19. Yet, humans are designed to interact in person, and the skills needed for successful connections are not easily transferred to virtual settings. Basically, teens don’t know how to connect, despite these easily accessible digital tools.
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In person, it’s easier to discern danger. Online, especially with AI enhancements, deception is just that, more deceptive. Children engaging with strangers increases the possibility of sexual assault on children. Many of these connections are made via social media. We also have various encryption and disappearing messaging apps that are a predator’s dream.
When a child engages with a stranger online, with parents unaware, it makes that young person highly susceptible. Children may resist the notion that their online friends may not be real because they are so friendly and complimentary. They may challenge that some could be predators posing as a child. These child abusers are trained in extracting information and appealing to youth. The dangers of abduction, rape, drug dealing (including deadly Fentanyl), and other serious dangers, lurk on that innocent-looking phone or video game.
As parents, we want to respect privacy and teach responsibility, but it must be weighed against risk. That can only happen if we are aware of the surrounding dangers. And, just as we teach children street smarts, we must also teach them social media “smarts.”
We often hear about cyberbullying, especially from school acquaintances, because it is much more common, but neglecting to address the very real issue of “stranger danger” can cost them their lives. Because young people are so trusting, they tend to divulge to an online “friend” personal information that they may be too embarrassed to reveal to in-person friends, and those details can endanger them and their families to hostile online predators.
We must remind ourselves of the importance of not telling people about upcoming vacations or posting photos that indicate that we are not home, thus making an empty house a potential invitation to robbers. However, when a child publicly talks about their school or sports schedule, or their parents being away for the day, or where they are meeting a friend, or the park where they go jogging, they are also alerting potential predators of their location and when they might be alone and subject to assault or exploitation.
Because these strangers are so engaging, kids have a hard time distinguishing an online “friend” from someone they already know.
Rapes, kidnappings and human trafficking are not simply things that occur in the movies or bad environments … they happen in real life, even in our valley, and the most efficient access is online.
Speak with your children and teens about safety issues. Lay a foundation of trust where they can feel free to speak with you about conversations they are having online or within the community, that may seem odd to them or make them uncomfortable. Predators prey on secrecy.
Encrypted and disappearing texts are a favorite tool in a predator’s toolbox. Some of the most popular apps that offer those features include SnapChat, Telegram, Bleep, Wickr, Confide, Cover Me, SpeakOn, Viber, WhatsApp, Dust, Signal, Messenger (recently introduced new self-destruct messaging features), even Gmail (has a confidential mode that lets you send messages with expiration dates), and many others, all designed to destroy messages within timeframes between immediate to one specified. Video games also have chat options that can be incorporated into their gameplay.
All are perfect for nefarious actors to communicate behind a disguise and disappear without a trace. They are expert at gaining a child’s trust and creating the illusion of safety against parents “who don’t understand them.”
Keeping track of your teens’ accounts can be challenging. For example, they can create false identities linked to new email accounts that then become untraceable. Or they can use existing options such as Finsta, which is short for Fake Instagram, allowing multiple accounts. Setting one up is easy. They just go to settings and click, add account, and they can easily switch between them.
We have investigators who specialize in tracking online predators and investigating crimes against children. Please help to make their jobs unnecessary. We are on the frontline, creating a barrier of protection between your precious little ones and danger. Keep safe this summer.
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