Celibacy—once a stuffy word most closely associated with a priest’s vows—has recently gotten a rebrand. On TikTok, #boysober has become a rallying cry for women taking a break from sex and dating in the name of self-care. Though the term #boysober was initially about avoiding men, according to its creator Hope Woodard, a 28-year-old comedian and content creator from Tennessee, the concept has since expanded to detaching oneself from romance and sex in general.
While #boysober may be a relatively new term, studies show that sexual inactivity has been on the rise among Millennials for years. In 2018, The Atlantic brought the conversation around celibacy to the forefront with a cover story discussing the “sex recession.” A 2024 survey from the Kinsey Institute found that one in six women aren’t sexually active right now, compared to one in 10 men. For some groups, the numbers are even higher: 43 percent of Black Gen Z daters are currently practicing celibacy, a recent survey from the dating app BLK found, with the majority citing “personal growth” as their main reason for doing so.
That was a driving force behind Woodard’s decision to go “boysober” too. In 2023, she became embroiled in a particularly intense situationship; at the same time, she was taking care of her grandmother, who was suffering from dementia.
Throughout her condition, Woodard’s grandmother began refusing help from women, having become “fixated” on her husband who passed away a number of years earlier. Woodard realized that she was depending on men in a similar manner.
In response, Woodard told her TikTok followers she was going “boysober” during 2024—a period of time where she refused to use dating apps, go on dates, speak with exes or situationships, or have sex. Ultimately, the time off would help her kick a “dependency” on dating.
In the years since its invention, the term “boysober” has taken off—Woodard has sold boysober merchandise, done boysober comedy sets, and even landed an iHeartRadio deal for a boysober podcast with episodes coming in 2025. (There’s even a boysober hotline proudly advertised on Woodard’s Instagram, though it’s unclear what kind of support it might offer callers.) Amidst all this success, Woodard has also struggled with the public nature of her vow, and even fell into an “identity crisis” after it went viral. “I got caught up in just like, ‘Is this [break] about me, or is this about my persona? Who am I doing this for?’” she previously told Women’s Health.
Although it may not have been her original intention, Woodard has been shocked to learn the number of people who’ve been inspired to go celibate after seeing her boysober videos. She interprets it as a reaction to not only her content, but also 2010s hookup culture at large. “I think a lot of us were introduced to having sex without really having intimacy,” she said. “Everyone’s trying to relearn that and trying to have sex in a truly intimate way, rather than just a fast and easy way.”
For many single women, going “boysober” is the slow and steady solution.
Charlotte Walsh is the associate news editor at Women’s Health, where she pitches, assigns, edits, and writes daily pieces on celebrity health and scientific studies. She has bylines at People, Business Insider, New York, E! Online, and more. She is an avid tennis player, sailor, and skier.
Lindsay Geller is the lifestyle director at Women’s Health, where she oversees the Sex & Love, Relationships, and Life sections and manages Women’s Health+ content. She has 10 years of experience covering sex, relationships, health, fitness, and general lifestyle topics for print and digital publications. She currently lives in New Jersey with her husband and loves going on runs around her local park with her rescue dog.
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