The Magic of Independent Play for Kids

The Magic of Independent Play for Kids

Imaginative and independent play is so valuable!

Myriam Sandler, creator and founder of Mothercould —a social media community inspiring millions of parents and caregivers—delves into the vital role of independent play in fostering creativity, confidence, and self-sufficiency in children in her upcoming book, available May 13, 2025, Playful by Design: Your Stress- Free Guide to Raising Confident, Creative Kids through Independent Play.

Emphasizing the importance of early self-directed play and preparing an intentional play space, Sandler provides practical guidance to help nurture a lifelong love for imaginative exploration.

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Start Them Young!

The more your child is exposed to independent play, the more comfortable with it they’ll become. Even infants are perfect candidates for playing on their own. You could either try to juggle them and a pacifier in the carrier while you’re prepping dinner, or you could let them have five to ten minutes of tummy time with a sensory mat. Or, if they’re able to sit, set them next to a small selection of toys in a safe space where you can see them. (Including a play yard, if they’re mobile.)

No age is too young for safe, semi-monitored, independent play.

Common Independent Play Pitfalls 

I can already hear your hesitation: I tell my kids to go play all the time, and a minute later, they’re either destroying their playroom or complaining that they’re bored. Or I give them art supplies, sensory games, or puzzles, and they just dump them out and walk away after thirty seconds.

Valid. Real.

But if you’re telling me that your child is consistently not engaged in their own activities, we need to dig a little bit deeper.

• Are the boundaries for play maybe a little too rigid? Is your child afraid to make a mess?
• Did they help set up their space or prepare the activity?
• Is their play space perfectly organized, to the point they perhaps got the message that it’s not to be mussed?
• Are their toys difficult to reach or placed somewhere they’re not able to access?
• Are there bins or boxes they are not able to open on their own?
• Is their play space too cluttered?
• Are toys tucked away in deep bins or in bins where they cannot see all the contents?
• Does their play space feature activities they are currently interested in?
• Are their toys too advanced? Not advanced enough?
• Are their toys too stimulating? Not engaging enough?

Each of these factors can affect how a child uses their space and how comfortable they feel there. Luckily, there are simple fixes for every single one. Some fixes are achieved through mindset shifts, others through decluttering and creative reorganizing. But all are found through the small steps I’ve outlined in this book, which yield very big results.

What About Electronics?

This might be a hot take, but I’ve never really been a fan of making things like television, tablets, and voice-activated technology such as Alexa a forbidden fruit. In my opinion, enforcing limitations or putting something on a pedestal only seems to make kids want those things more. Plus, it doesn’t feel like it’s preparing kids for real life, where they’ll have access to pretty much all the technology they want. (Just ask any adult who can barely look away from their phone for a moment!) And, of course, I’d be naive not to acknowledge that for some families, these things need to stand in as a sitter. (Which goes for us, too, sometimes when we travel — though, as you’ll read about in chapter 8, our girls tend to be more interested in their on-the-go play spaces.)

In our house, technology just gives us a few more tools for play. We set ourselves up for success by downloading age-appropriate apps and programs, and we have some boundaries in place—such as how early in the morning or late into the evening these things can be on—but other than that, our kids have a say in their technology diet. I’ve seen that after about twenty minutes of screen time, they’re ready for the next thing.

If your child is used to leaning on TV and tablets for entertainment, don’t assume they won’t be willing to transition to other types of play. TV might be a big, fudgy piece of chocolate cake, but your new play spaces are like a delicious dessert buffet. You’ll be amazed to see how just a few tantalizing new provisions (especially sensory materials like slime) or thoughtfully selected toys can pique the curiosity of the most devoted screen-timer. Or how effective it can be to incorporate screen time into their open-ended play, such as taking videos of their performances, “concerts,” and science experiment outcomes, editing the footage, and watching it together as a family. They will still want that chocolate cake, and that’s something we’re all learning how to navigate as parents, but now they have other tasty offerings to fill their plates with too.

And if you are leaning on TV for entertainment, remember those mindset shifts we just talked about. If it’s a control thing for you, because TV means your child isn’t making a mess somewhere else in the house, create a space where they can find all the things they need for play without dumping out large containers, with the additional peace of mind that everything has a straightforward place to go when playtime is done. Any mess they make—and they will make a mess—can be contained and easy to handle.

The more I’ve dug into the re- search behind the benefits of sen- sory play, and the more I see those benefits unfolding in real-time in my own home—not to mention in the thousands of homes of Mother- could community members—the more I’m convinced that it doesn’t get much better than that.

Myriam Sandler is the creator of Mothercould (@mothercould), a beloved kids’ activity and family lifestyle community trusted by millions of families. As a mother of three, Myriam shares engaging, easy-to-follow video tutorials that offer accessible DIY play ideas, parenting hacks, family travel tips, and more. Mothercould has grown to offer family-friendly, problem-solving products now available at major retailers. Taken from Playful by Design by Myriam Sandler, Copyright @ 2025 by Mothercould LLC. Published by Harper Celebrate, a division of HarperCollins Focus, LLC.

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