Two couples who combined households to form a “closed quad” relationship while collectively raising their five children are the focus of TLC’s new reality show, “Polyfamily.”
“We’re just like any other family. There’s just more of us,” Alysia Rodgers tells TODAY.com.
The title of the show, which premieres on April 29, is a play on the term “polyfamory,” which means that multiple partners birth and care for the children under one roof.
Alysia, her husband, Tyler, and their two kids moved into an Oregon home with the other half of their quad, Sean and Taya Hartless, in February 2020. Since then the Rodgers/Hartless family added three children to their bustling household. The show gives viewers the inside scoop on the daily life of this unique family of nine.
While chatting with TODAY.com over video call before their show’s premiere, both Alysia and Taya say they hope sharing their family life onscreen will promote inclusion and acceptance for other polyfamory households.
Alysia, who was already the mom of a 4- and 5-year-old when she moved in with Sean and Taya, had some “preconceived notions” about what it might feel like to see her children gain two additional parents, but her fears were unfounded.
“When I see that my kids are happy, that someone else can make them happy too, that makes me happy,” Alysia says earnestly. “Seeing them have love for another parental figure doesn’t take anything away from me.”
In addition to Alysia and Tyler’s kids — Dillon, now 11, and Reina, now 9 — the family now includes Barrett, 4, Carver, 3, and Quentin, 18 months.
Though Alysia gave birth to one of the younger kids and Taya carried the other two, the quad intentionally did not find out which of the men fathered which of the boys. The women each have their own bedroom and the men switch rooms each night, so it is entirely possible for either Tyler or Sean to be the father of any of the younger boys — and they have no plans to uncover the boys’ biological parentage.
Instead, Alysia is “Mom,” Tyler is “Dad,” Taya is “Mama,” and Sean is “Daddy.” Alysia and Tyler work full-time, Taya works part-time, Sean is the primary stay-at-home-dad … and everyone has a role to play at bedtime.
Taya laughs, “With five kids, we’ve got to be all hands on deck.”
The task of keeping the household organized with so many thoughts and opinions may seem daunting, but the quad utilizes a group chat, shared calendars and in-person discussions to streamline operations. And, of course, there are benefits to having multiple adults in the same household to share the mental load.
“We all four have different personal experiences in life,” says Alysia. “Being able to bring all four of those into the equation when it comes to raising our kids together honestly is a huge advantage.”
“I can’t imagine not having another mom figure around to be able to help with that stuff,” Taya says. Even so, she admits “it’s a constant compromise, it’s a constant communication.”
Taya continues, “Ultimately, we will have the same end goal, right? It’s happy, healthy children. So if we have a hard time deciding on something, we oftentimes will lean back into that, which is a reminder that we’re all on the same team here.”
The family, who lives in a small town in Oregon, hasn’t had pushback about their family structure from other parents when it comes to setting up playdates.
“Ultimately, we find that kids care that we have a trampoline and some horses, and they’re more interested in the pool or the Xbox,” Taya says. “Their parents can see that our kids are really awesome, and there’s always a safe adult around to keep an eye on them. And so I think that they can also see the benefits, even if they think it might be a little strange.”
The quad knows, however, that there may be negativity surrounding polyfamory, which is why they want to show viewers that they are a normal family — and maybe even boringly so.
“We talk about it taking a village to raise a family, but people oftentimes are quite judgmental about what that village looks like,” says Alysia. She hopes the show will help people “understand something that looks different than what you have in your own life.”
“For me, it’s just about spreading education that polyamory is valid. Polyamory exists. It’s out there, and it can be really good for some people. And not just the people in the relationship — for their kids as well,” Taya says.
She continues: “Between the checks and balances and the support system and always having a safe adult around, I genuinely will always feel like polyamory is something that our kids are very lucky to have in their lives.”
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