His Ex’s New Husband Treats Him Like Garbage, So He Won’t Agree to Give Him Any More Rights When it Comes to His Kids

Shutterstock/Reddit

I not only feel sorry for the kids in this family, I also feel sorry for the guy who wrote it!

And I think you’ll agree with me after you dive in…

But first things first…

Is this guy being unreasonable?

Let’s see what’s going on here…

“I (29m) have two kids (8 and 6) with my ex (29f).

We share physical and legal custody of them and last year she got married to her husband Josh (34m).

This guy is something else…

From the beginning of their serious relationship (about three years ago) Josh has been a real jerk to me and my ex has let it happen and has joined in as well.

The very first incident happened when my oldest had a school play and I was already there when they arrived.

Josh asked me why I’d shown up when I knew it was my ex’s custody time and I knew my kid would have two parents there already, which meant he was counting himself as a parent and he was only dating my ex at the time.

I told him ex and I both show up regardless of who has their time that week and the judge and mediator encouraged us to do this. Josh said I was unnecessary.

Jeez…

Another time I went to the exchange to pick up my kids and Josh was holding my youngest and tried to tell me my kid wanted to stay with him, even as my kid was reaching for me.

My ex made him hand our child over because I told her I would be documenting incidents going forward since it looked we were going to have big problems.

Josh accused me of being jealous when all I wanted was to take my kids with me like I was legally entitled to.

I also documented this and other incidents moving forward.

Then when my youngest had a birthday party thrown by my ex’s parents and they invited me, Josh told me I must be desperate to show up where I’m not really wanted.

I told him if nobody wanted me here why was I invited and he started to say something about besides the kids but then I guess he didn’t want to say they were nobody.

He was glaring pretty hard when the kids were all about having me there and didn’t want him stepping in and taking over.

By the time they got married I had over 30 incidents documented and I had taken my ex back to court over the issues.

I presented a case for what showed signs of potential alienation and also interference in the legal custody order.

The judge warned my ex that Josh’s behavior could cost her custody if she wasn’t careful.

So Josh was no longer present during exchanges.

There were still texts from Josh that I had to document and save because he was still saying stuff he shouldn’t be.

Not in direct violation but getting very close to it.

I couldn’t block him because communication needed to be open in case something happened and my ex couldn’t get in touch with me.

The good part is I didn’t need to answer unless it was an emergency.

And I didn’t reply to those texts.

Then my ex took me to court and wanted Josh to be granted guardianship of our kids.

She made the argument that he was equally as involved as us but did not have the same legal rights.

She said it would be simpler if he could take them to the doctor without us, sign them up for stuff without needing our permission.

She said as a stepparent he was filling the role of a parent but did not have all the abilities we did.

She also mentioned the ability for him to make decisions in case of an accident.

Nope!

The judge refused to grant the guardianship request.

She told my ex that given our past and given our kids had two active parents, it was not necessary to give him all that legal access.

She also made it so I was not obligated to give permissions like that.

She said the same as if I were to marry she would not need to give my wife these permissions.

My ex asked if that included the emergency contact list at school and the judge said yes, that included the emergency contact at school.

That takes us to now.

My ex wanted me to consent to the full decision making and permissions anyway.

Josh was never added to the emergency contact list (school requires the consent of both parents) so our kids have my ex, then me, then my mom and dad and then her mom and dad as their emergency contacts.

I also did not give permission for Josh to take the kids to the doctor alone.

My ex and Josh weren’t happy when I refused to allow it.

I told my ex I was not going to open the door for Josh to claim I gave him those rights because I didn’t care about being a dad or because I wanted to shirk my responsibility as a dad.

This sounds bad.

And I can see him using those permissions to engage in more alienation or to have a way of using it to make me look bad.

I could also see it becoming an issue if he uses it to try and push me out.

I would rather prevent it before it can start happening.

My ex has argued that I’m not putting the kids first and I’m letting adult issues come between them and Josh.

She said they deserve to have the love of both dads in their lives and that allowing Josh to care for them as we do when he’s going to be around for the rest is the only right thing.

She said otherwise the kids will grow up seeing him as just her husband and not as their parent.

And she mentioned how that’s already present. But she said they have two men filling the role and only one who gets the love and affection from them for it.

I don’t think it would be the right thing under these circumstances.

Legally I’m covered

. But morally am I wrong here?

Am I letting my issues with Josh and my ex make me not think of my kids first?

AITA?”

Check out what readers had to say about this.

This person chimed in.

Another individual said he’s NTA.

This Reddit user agreed.

Another reader spoke up.

And this reader shared their thoughts.

He’s had just about enough of this guy…

And who could blame him?

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.