How to talk to kids about the Pope’s death and the conclave

When big events happen in the world, our children need our help to understand the situation. The death of Pope Francis may already be a big topic in your home or school. Here is how I’ve discussed this sad news with my own kids.

Your child may already know about Pope Francis’ passing, but the topic may be at the forefront of their minds with his funeral on Saturday. When you talk about it with them, be prepared for a range of reactions. 

Some children may be quite upset. My friend’s 5-year-old cried uncontrollably when he found out, sobbing, “He never got to meet me!” Children often process grief in unexpected ways. 

Other children may be less affected. My kids told me it was “the saddest part of the day,” but didn’t cry or seem super upset.

The first step will be processing how your child feels about his death. Give your child space to express their feelings. 

Let them know it’s understandable to feel sad when someone dies, even someone they’ve only seen in pictures or on TV. Their connection to the Pope might surprise you.

If your family plans to watch the funeral, it will be broadcast on NBC and Peacock and streamed on platforms like Disney+, Hulu, and the Vatican News YouTube channel. You can also follow it here at Aleteia.

After acknowledging their feelings, offer some gentle reassurance. You might say, “Our Holy Father has left us on this earth, but Jesus never leaves us, and the Holy Spirit always guides us.” God is always with us and he is with them too.

Explain that we can hope Pope Francis is now with God in heaven. We can share with our kids Jesus’ words in the Bible: “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21). Our hope and prayer is that Pope Francis is enjoying this kind of loving “welcome home” with Jesus, Mary, and all the saints. This is the perfect time to offer a prayer for his soul, too.

When I talk about Jesus’ death with children, such as in my Catechesis of the Good Shepherd atrium, I always mention the Resurrection too. Children need to know that death is not the end of the story, and that there is hope and new life ahead.

In the same way, it would be appropriate to explain to the children what will come next. Children will naturally wonder what happens next anyway, and without our explanation, they may be very confused. 

My friend told her kids about Pope Francis’ death and said we need to pray for the new pope. Her 4-year-old threw his hands up in frustration and exclaimed, “I do not want to be the next pope!” Somehow he thought he was in the running for the position! Our explanations help our kids make sense of the situation.

Once the children have processed Pope Francis’ death, we can explain how a new pope is chosen. 

Here’s what I told my children (note the new words cardinals and conclave):

This time is a wonderful chance to talk about apostolic succession, how the leadership of the Church passed down from St. Peter in a direct line through all the popes to today. Children find it fascinating that this chain of leadership goes all the way back to Jesus’ time (I find it fascinating myself!).

You can explain that the Holy Spirit guides the Church through each new pope, just as Jesus promised his disciples. Apostolic succession helps children see that while we miss Pope Francis, God is still taking care of His Church.

I highly recommend the picture book We Have a Pope by Katherine Bogner. It is an excellent resource for helping children understand how papal conclaves work. It explains the process in child-friendly terms with engaging illustrations that bring the tradition to life.

Reading this together can make this historic moment understandable, while also reassuring kids that we don’t need to worry. This process has happened many times in the Church’s long history.

Ultimately, our children will take their cue from us about how to react to big news. While we are naturally sad about the death of our beloved Holy Father, we can model for our children a response of faith and hope. 

Jesus promised us that his “Spirit will be with you until the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). He is not about to abandon us now. Even as we grieve, we can rejoice in the certainty that the Holy Spirit will continue to guide the Church.