Husband told to examine marriage as wife takes issue with hobby: ‘issues’

A man’s lifelong hobby of playing video games has become the focal point of relationship turmoil after his wife suddenly declared the pastime “juvenile.”

In a Reddit post, the 42-year-old man shared that during a recent argument, his wife took a stab at his hobby and told him it was “unattractive.” Since the post was published, it has received 42,000 upvotes and 15,000 comments advising him on whether or not to give up gaming based on his wife’s opinion.

Newsweek spoke to Megan Mufson, a psychiatric nurse practitioner about the situation and whether or not the poster should act on his wife’s disapproval.

“I’ve been playing video games all my life,” the man wrote, listing a wide range of titles spanning decades. He explained that his wife knew about his hobby from early in their relationship, and while she didn’t “get them,” she previously “understood that it was something I found relaxing and enjoyable.”

However, the dynamic shifted when she told him, while arguing about something unrelated, that she thought his video game hobby was not suited for a man of his age.

The husband emphasized that his gaming doesn’t fit negative stereotypes, detailing his career as a manager, their nice house, four children, two dogs and good personal hygiene. “I also play when everyone else is asleep,” he added. “So it’s not cutting into family or housework time.”

He asked the online community for advice: “Is there any hope of her changing how she feels?” he wrote. “Should I give up gaming? That would feel like a huge sacrifice.”

Many Redditors sensed the gaming critique was a symptom, not the core problem.

“Sounds like you’ve been married a long time, no?” one person wrote. “Might be time to do a deeper check-in on your relationship as this sounds, to me, like something that goes way beyond video games.”

Another commenter urged the husband not to abandon his hobby: “Anything anyone does to relax could be called ‘pointless, trivial, lazy, childish…DO NOT give up doing what you enjoy.”

An Expert Opinion

Mufson, founder of Florida Holistic Psychiatry, told Newsweek that the sentiment of the poster’s wife likely masked other “issues.”

“In my experience, when a partner suddenly criticizes a hobby that’s been part of someone’s identity for years, it’s rarely just about the hobby itself,” Mufson said. “More often, it reflects a deeper emotional disconnect or an unmet need. She may be feeling neglected, disconnected, or even resentful—but instead of expressing those vulnerable emotions directly, she’s focusing her frustration on something concrete, like gaming. It’s a form of emotional displacement.”

Mufson questioned the fairness of asking the husband to stop gaming, given the circumstances. She noted that he is “mindful” about his gaming practices and timings, and that his hobby doesn’t seem to be causing the family harm.

Navigating this sensitive conversation requires care, Mufson said.

“They’ll need to come to the conversation with curiosity and a willingness to listen,” she said, suggesting the husband say something like, “I know this has been bothering you and I really want to understand why—can we talk about it?”

For the wife, Mufson stressed expressing feelings over accusations: “Saying, ‘I feel disconnected from you at night and I miss our closeness’ is very different from saying, ‘Video games make you look juvenile.’ The moment it turns into a blame game, they’re in a lose-lose dynamic. Emotional safety has to come first.”

Newsweek reached out to u/AtreidesOne for comment via Reddit.