Dad slammed for leaving his kids with new wife so he can stay out all night

A man has been slammed online for expecting his wife to look after his children overnight while he plays poker.

The Reddit post titled, “AITA [Am I the A******] for expecting my husband to be home every night that we have his kids (my step kids) at home?” quickly went viral, amassing more than 11,000 upvotes in less than 24 hours (April 10).

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there were 2.4 million stepchildren among 33.6 million households in 2021. In this instance, the father and ex-wife share 50/50 custody of their sons, aged 12 and 14. However, this has become problematic with the summer holidays approaching.

Last summer, the family relocated about 60 miles from their previous home to accommodate the children’s new living situation after their biological mother remarried and moved to another part of the state. However, the husband still commutes to work and stays in their previous hometown overnight on Mondays to play poker.

The 36-year-old woman said: “The issue has come up with regards to our summer custody schedule, which switches to one week on, one week off from the normal school year schedule.

“It recently came out in conversation that he expected to still play in his poker game on Tuesday nights during the summer and that he was fully planning on staying with friends and not coming home those nights. It has always been our understanding and agreement that he would be home any night we have the boys here.

“When I brought this up, he told me he didn’t think it was a big deal to not be home one night a week and to expect me to handle everything on those nights,” the woman added.

She describes the kids as “wild,” adding that they often fight, which makes her “anxious and uncomfortable.”

“I have no interest in being solely in charge of that situation. I already am the default parent for laundry, school pickup, scheduling, meals, and the primary caretaker anytime during school breaks (since I work from home). I have clearly communicated to my husband how I feel about being here alone with them, so he is aware,” she said.

The childless wife also highlights how this impacts the children, as the dad “would rather play poker” than hang out with them.

Newsweek reached out to u/Educational-Nature35 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Expert Advice

Newsweek discussed the post with child care expert Rachel Carrell, CEO and founder of Koru Kids based in London.

Carrell said: “Our child-care system assumes there’s a mum at home with endless time and infinite patience. That fantasy breaks down fastest in stepfamilies, where roles are messier, relationships are newer, and the safety net thinner. We need to normalize building proper support around stepparents, especially those holding the fort during holidays and school breaks.

“The unspoken reality is that stepparents often become the ‘default parent’ by accident, not agreement. It starts with convenience—like working from home or having more flexible hours—but, over time, that morphs into invisible responsibility. If you’re looking after kids regularly, you need the authority and support of a co-parent, not just expectations.”

Reddit Reacts

So far, the post has over 2,500 comments—many users are unimpressed.

One user said: “Right? The whole point is to be with the other parent. If he’s too selfish to give up his poker games then the boys should stay with their mom for the extra two nights. They aren’t going to be any happier having to stay with OP [original poster] than she will be having to be the damn babysitter for them. This dude is a jerk for expecting them all to be OK with his proposed arrangement.”

“NTA [not the a******]. The whole point of the custody agreement is so they see their father. They might as well stay with their mother on that day. You’re right, it’s sending the kids a bad message,” said another user.

A third commenter wrote: “She moved for his kids convenience, now he’s asking more of her and disregarding OP’s comfort and ability to deal with a pair of boys who also ignore her and physically fight. NTA, your husband is a selfish a******. His hobby is not more important than you or the kids and he needs to realize he has to step up because you’re not his babysitter.”