Miss Manners: Not interested in eating any food made in someone’s kitchen.

MISS MANNERS by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I stopped eating potluck food at work years ago when I found cat hair in a piece of cake. Apparently, the lady who brought the cake regularly let her cats jump up on her kitchen counter. I was always careful with food before that, but that was the last straw.

I was invited to a co-worker’s home for dinner recently, but declined going. I had been there before, and the kitchen was very dirty, and there was a big fat cat roaming around.

I think people feel snubbed when I tell them “Thanks, but no thanks” when they offer me food. Another example: The lady downstairs is a heavy smoker and drinker. When she calls me up and asks if I would like some of the food she has prepared, I always find an excuse to decline. She seems miffed about it.

At an event in a park, a lady I did not know had a big bucket of cookies and was offering them to people. I almost took one, asking her what bakery she got them from, and she said she made them herself. I withdrew my hand and told her “No, thanks” and she got angry at me.

I don’t want to sound snobby, but how do I politely get out of these food offers?

GENTLE READER: You also do not want to waste food, nor do you want to be dishonest — by, for example, saying that you already ate.

Miss Manners can accommodate this long list so long as you do not also insist on being original: Say “No, thank you” — this, time before reaching for a cookie — and repeat it as many times as necessary, resisting the temptation to explain your reasons.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.