Parents reflect on their biggest mistakes raising kids—And it’s eye-opening

As a parent, you’re bound to make mistakes. Aware of the long journey of parenthood ahead, one first-time mom turned to Reddit for answers.

In the r/parenting subreddit, u/karibbeanqueen asked parents of grown-up children (18+) if there was anything they would do differently.

“I want to hear from parents who have kids who are ‘grown up’ now, specifically because they can see the full picture and hindsight is 20/20,” she wrote in her post.

The original poster (OP), a mom to a 15-month-old, believes that we can learn a lot from others’ mistakes.

“I don’t want to make mistakes, although they’re unavoidable over the course of such a long experience. We can learn a lot from each other, and that willingness to learn is a part of good parenting,” she told Newsweek.

Responses poured in, with over 100 parents sharing their honest reflections on everything from discipline and communication to missed moments and the things they regret.

One common nugget of advice was to teach children independence at a young age, whether calling the doctor’s office, making their own packed lunches or learning how to use a debit card.

“Often as a parent you do things for your kids because you have to go somewhere or simply because you love them but it can actually be a disservice,” one parent commented.

The comment with the most upvotes came from u/Just_A_Mom1316, who recommended that the OP ask herself, “Will this matter in 5 years?”

Playing with your children, showing up for them, and setting examples will matter in the future. But small things, such as finishing a pile of laundry, buying the best party decorations and only allowing children ice cream before dinner once in a blue moon, won’t.

“I would have played more, I’m not a player, I’m terrible. Far too many times I let them play by themselves so I could clean, do work, goof off (aka relax my brain). ‘Play with me’ can be a child’s way to say, ‘I love you,’” she wrote.

Many other parents advised staying present because moments with young children are fleeting.

“You will always cherish the memories of time spent with them and so will your kids. Your kids will appreciate what you think are little things that don’t matter, so just show up and be present,” a Redditor commented.

A parent of grown children and a toddler agreed: “Don’t rush the milestones. Don’t rush the academics. Let your child enjoy the moment.”

Acceptance was also a big running theme among the comments; parents loving their kids unconditionally.

“Always reassure them that no matter what you will always love and support them. Be the parent that they can call at 3am and ask for a ride home knowing that it’s no questions asked, mom is just going to show up and be there for me when I need her,” a mother wrote.

The OP believes Reddit users saw an opportunity to get some regrets off their chests.

“It was eye opening that so many parents did have things they wish they didn’t do because many kids would say parents don’t admit they’re wrong,” she said.

At the end of her post, she thanked the other parents for their input. “Parenting is not an easy job, but I hope anyone else who comes across this post finds some support as we navigate the experience.”