Mom compares what Friday nights were like before and after having kids

A woman has sparked intense debate on social media after sharing a video comparing her Friday nights before having kids to her Friday nights as a mom.

Becoming a parent can involve dramatic changes, and while many people anticipate some level of upheaval, others may struggle to adapt to that change.

According to Nestle’s Parenting Index, a global survey of more than 8,000 mothers and fathers of babies aged 0-12 months conducted in 2020, 43 percent of respondents said “becoming a parent was more difficult than they thought.”

Aside from the effects on things such as sleep and personal finances, some parents may occasionally mourn elements of the life and freedom they’ve lost.

Monica Millington, who lives in Singapore, has been a mom since January 2023. Her life changed significantly the day her son arrived, and it’s now far removed from what it was before.

Millington highlighted that contrast in a video posted on TikTok under the handle @monicamillington. The clip begins with an average Friday night for Millington before her son was born, and she can be seen dancing to loud music in a sparkly dress. The clip then cuts to Millington sitting quietly at home in a robe, repeatedly lighting a candle that her smiling son keeps blowing out for his own amusement.

She told Newsweek: “The first clip is from my birthday party three years ago, and the second clip is from about two weeks ago. To keep my toddler from going crazy one evening, I was lighting and relighting a candle—he has a new obsession with candles after his second birthday.”

Millington added, “I just thought it was hilarious that that was my activity for the evening, so I started filming it, and he was just as happy the 1,000th time as he was the first time.”

Millington’s video has exploded on TikTok, amassing more than 12 million views. In the comments section, viewers were fiercely divided over which version of events they preferred: partying or spending a quiet night at home with their children.

“Why tiktok always reminding me to not have kids,” one user wrote, while another commented, “May this life never find me.”

“The smile on the child’s face is worth millions of night outs,” a commenter wrote, and another added, “This is real happiness.”

Millington has been left stunned by the reaction to her video. “I just think it’s so funny how such a seemingly simple video got so big and sparked so many debates in the comments,” she said.

She said she had no regrets about becoming a parent and was much happier at home with her son than in the club.

“Life has gotten so much sweeter. My priorities have shifted and so has what I find joy and fulfillment in it. I mean, I had a blast before kids, but this is deeper,” she said.

“Toddlers especially take a lot of work and can be exhausting, but I would light a candle a thousand times just to see him smile. I’ll get up a hundred times in the middle of the night to hold him,” Millington continued. “There’s a lot of joy in the little everyday moments now that I have my son.”