MADISON, Wis. (WMTV) As the search continues for a 16-year-old girl from Beaver Dam who is believed to be with a 40-year-old Arkansas man, one nonprofit who offers guidance on teen dating violence is spreading awareness about “grooming” and protecting kids online.
According to Jaime Sathasivam, Co-Executive Director of Hope House of South Central Wisconsin, “grooming” can be defined as a tactic used to gain trust from children that often crosses boundaries. These behaviors can be subtle and difficult to spot.
“You know, it’s happening all over,” Arkansas’ Lonoke County Sheriff John Staley said. “But it was due to the Internet. They had met somehow through that.”
Staley, who is assisting the Beaver Dam Police Department in the investigation, pointed to the five page criminal complaint showing 16-year-old Sophia Franklin met 40-year-old Gary Day online and used burner phones to communicate with him.
Sathasivam said monitoring your child’s behavior online is critical, especially for teenagers.
“Social media provides access to connection for teens, and it gives really positive validation,” Sathasivam said. “But it can also be really harmful, and for those teens who are already vulnerable and looking for that external validation outside of their central group of friends or their family, it can provide a lot of vulnerabilities and access to that individual.”
Children are especially vulnerable to grooming and sexual abuse because they may not recognize the red flags, Sathasivam said. Some of the signs of grooming include creating isolation from friends and family, buying gifts to earn favor of a child and learning personal information about the child to use as a threat.
“They may not have trusted adults who they can disclose to,” Sathasivam said. “They may be seeking validation or someone who they feel understands them.”
Sathasivam said one of the best prevention methods is to have conversations early on with young children about trust and to ensure that your child has a trusted adult to speak with. Discussing bodily autonomy and explaining the difference between surprises and secrets is also important.
If you have not had these conversations with your teenager, Sathasivam said it is not too late to start.
“You can still establish those connections,” Sathasivam said. “It just takes a little bit of effort to really show teens that you’re really there for them, that you want to support them and that you trust their judgment. Really encourage kids to listen to their gut and reach out for support.”
Some emotional warning signs among teenagers may include mood swings, difficulty eating and sleeping, as well as irritability, according to Sathasivam.
If you or your child is looking for support, Hope House of South Central Wisconsin has a 24/7 hotline to help people who might be suffering from domestic violence and abuse. Their number is 608-356-7500.
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